The most obscure films I've ever seen (according to Letterboxd)

Over my years, I’ve seen some random stuff. And thankfully now, I have Letterboxd and IMDb to help me find out the truly random and obscure stuff that nobody ever thought of. These are the examples I got off Letterboxd.

Now, Letterboxd has a lot of users, so normally films have plenty of ratings. The most-rated film on the site, Parasite, has 946526 ratings on the site (followed by Joker at 892037). Clearly, mine are going to be a lot lower.

Also, I’m not including all the old Doctor Who episodes and Wiggles VOD-stuff that randomly appeared in the bottom few, because I consider them TV episodes. This is about movies.

Right, let’s begin with…

10. Bill (1935 ratings)

1935 ratings may still seem like a lot, but that’s if not compared to the 946,526 people who rated Parasite.

This is a fairly obscure movie – IMDb doesn’t even list who distributed the movie in Australia, and I couldn’t find the cinema where I saw it online. The main reason behind why it’s so unknown is that it’s targeting a very specific demographic – those who watched the Horrible Histories TV show and were familiar with the mix of absurdism and gross-out humour that the series was so fond of. As such, worldwide the film only grossed about $969,000, with most of the audience assumedly being teenagers who wanted to watch a great comedy rather than talk about it on their film nerd website.

Hell, it took me six years to do just that, so I’m not surprised a lot of other people have.

9. Happily N’Ever After 2: Snow White, anotherbite@theapple (1802 ratings)

Looking at the title and the image above, you can pretty much understand why nobody wants to remember this movie or mention that they’ve seen it or know of its existence.

With an average score of 1.5/5 on Letterboxd, 0% on Rotten Tomatoes and 3.8/10 on IMDb, this movie was released direct-to-video as a sequel to Happily N’Ever After, one of the worst theatrically released animated films ever made. That movie made some money, so the studio thought people would want it, and so threw some more money at a cheap spin-off which I’m not even sure how I watched.

Yet I still remember the horror of this movie, and I hope that those 1802 ratings stay at 1802 forever.

8. The Little Panda Fighter (1654 ratings)

This movie briefly became a meme back in 2015, when YouTuber I Hate Everything made a great video about the movie in his “Search for the Worst” series. Right after that, the whole movie was uploaded onto YouTube (how I watched it), with the only other way to get your hands on it being ordering the DVD on Amazon or finding it in a video-rental store (if any stores still exist).

Ursinho de Pesada (or The Little Panda Fighter if you’re an English-speaker) is a Brazilian 50-minute animated film made with the intent of capitalising on the popularity of Kung Fu Panda which came out at the same time. As it was made with the intent of a cheap buck, it’s packed with cheap animation, one-take performances and some of the most atrocious dubbing I’ve ever heard.

Still, I’d almost recommend seeing it sheerly for the bizarre fact that such an idiotic creation exists. Almost. Watch I Hate Everything’s video instead. It gives you a nice runover that’ll save you 40 minutes.

7. Top End Wedding (1624 ratings)

To have less ratings than The Little Panda Fighter is a gut-punch, especially when you consider the fact that this movie is far, far better in quality and intent. A breezy romantic comedy with a sweet central storyline about relationships with cultural heritage, Top End Wedding unfortunately fell into the trap of being an Australian movie that didn’t have cars being blown up in deserts, so no-one was interested.

Then again, I can understand why this would get so few ratings compared to others, mainly because it doesn’t have the meme or cult potential of the three films I discussed previously. The main audience it’s intended for are regular people who just want to have a lovely time in a theatre watching an easy film, not nerds who are immediately going to think of some random roast for their inevitable Letterboxd review.

6. Tuesdays with Morrie (1276 ratings)

A 1999 TV movie made with Jack Lemmon and Hank Azaria, Tuesdays with Morrie has since been relegated to Lifetime Channel midnight showings (only watched by Letterboxd users for the irony) or showings in religious faith class (how I watched it, interestingly enough).

There’s really not a lot I can say about Tuesdays with Morrie. It’s a typical simple faith-affirming movie with good performances, with nothing unwholesome or controversial or really that interesting about it. For that alone, it kind of deserves to be ignored by Letterboxd users to the extent it has been.

5. Jesus (493 ratings)

Starring Gary Oldman as Roman General/flamboyant nightclub owner Pontius Pilate, Jesus is another TV movie from 1999 which I watched in a Faith, Ethics and Attitudes class. I don’t really remember that much about the film, except for the fact that it does show the crucifixion in some violent detail with a decent amount of blood (not Passion of the Christ level, but still not for kids).

My general perception of Letterboxd is not a bunch of people who revisit old religious TV movies that they watched on Lifetime while drunk once, so it’s entirely understandable that barely anyone has watched it. Additionally, it’s really doesn’t have that much staying power or impact – I barely remembered I had seen it until I had some bizarre fever dream.

4. Dream Big: Engineering Our World (308 ratings)

I saw this while I was on a school-sponsored trip to Houston, and we saw this movie on a huge IMAX screen somewhere near the Space and Rocket Museum. The movie was about several inspiring stories about young engineers who worked hard and eventually achieved greatness of life and money and such, all while soothingly narrated by Mr. Jeff Bridges himself.

Apparently only grossing $708 dollars (of which 20% I’m assuming was contributed by my group) and released exclusively in the U.S., I’m definitely not surprised that no-one remembers this film. It’s not really that inspiring either, which is probably why I only remembered I had seen it like a week ago. Additionally, I had to find the film by going into Jeff Bridge’s filmography to try and find out what the film was called, only to be greeted with one of the most pitiful Wikipedia pages I’ve ever seen.

3. Inchon (191 ratings)

Oh yeah, this.

Inchon is a joke of a movie, bombing incredibly hard at the 1982 box office and never seeing an official release on DVD. I only saw it because someone taped the edited-for-TV version and posted it on YouTube, so far only garnering 46,000 views. And after that, I don’t think anyone could be stuffed enough to acknowledge the fact that this movie exists.

I cannot even recommend watching Inchon on an ironic level, as it’s so boring and uninvolving that my head hurts to watch it. It’s best to keep it in obscurity, as to not let the god-like visage of Laurence Olivier’s career be sunk by this trash.

2. Hedda Gabler (14 ratings)

With only 14 ratings, 9 scores from users and 1 written review, Hedda Gabler is the one adaptation of a classic play which no-one cares about. Another made-for-TV film, I watched this in English class so we could get a better understanding of how the play was directed and how actors were meant to say their lines. It ultimately didn’t work (Even our teacher admitted that she didn’t like this version) and it faded from memory pretty quickly.

If you want to watch Hedda Gabler, there are far better versions of it elsewhere, but if you want to see movies for no money whatsoever, then this one is free on ClickView if you’re still a student. It rarely ever gets shown on TV and I don’t think there’s a DVD, so it’s pretty damn obscure as films go (especially one starring acclaimed actors like Fiona Shaw and Stephen Rea).

Right, now we’re at the least-seen movie I have ever seen…

1. Bugs! A Rainforest Adventure (8 ratings)

Yes – 8 ratings, along with 4 scores and a singular review.

I saw this movie back in grade 2, when we were doing our unit on insects and this movie was doing the rounds at IMAX theatres including the one at the Melbourne museum. There being a lot of close-ups of spiders and weird Bornean creatures, I was utterly terrified the entire time, and spent a lot of the movie trying to hide behind my classmate (it didn’t work, and I never want to speak of it again, thank you).

I legitimately have no idea what this film is. I can barely find any information on the internet beyond the awful poster, except for the fact that Judi Dench apparently provided the narration for it. I don’t remember any of the specific bug shots in the film either, so I can’t say its traumatising power was that strong.

Honestly, if anyone who reads this blog can somehow find out if this movie is online, then try to watch it in a mass group – I want some info so that I can reclaim my childhood memories.

Well, those are the most obscure films I’ve ever seen in my life. That took a real feat of memory to get all of those out.

What do you guys think? Leave your answers in the comments below.